Favorite Book Criticisms #1

When I finish reading a book and writing a review for it, I like to look at other online reviews for that particular title.  It’s fun to see how my thoughts compare with the rest of the general populace.

Sometimes when I read other peoples reviews, I’m struck by a particularly insightful or downright funny observation.  Some of them are so good that I thought it would be fun to start a new series which shares my favorite book criticisms from other reviewers.

Most quotes will be short, and I won’t necessarily say which book they are commenting on.  The point is to simply enjoy the wit and observations of others.  I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!


“Like many epic fantasies, this book is mostly about people taking long walks.”

Alex Falcone


“You’re better off burning your money than buying this book.”

K. Brooks


“In conclusion, if readers went before a judge, the judge would grant a divorce and Patterson would be forced to pay retribution to every reader who suffered through this wreck of a book.”



“Suddenly out of the blue, the guy who has been treating her like a piece of meat loves her. Really? Dangerous message. Men who mistreat you do not love you.”



“WHY WOULD SOMEBODY MAKE THESE BOXES? What wizards (or box makers) thought it would be fun to create three magical jewelry boxes that might accidentally blow up the whole world?

I can’t stress enough how bad an idea this is. Whoever did this is the stupidest.”

Alex Falcone


“Publishers would do well not to rush with books that are not yet ready for publication. The fact an author is well known is no excuse for not demanding quality. As a matter of fact, one should expect more from a seasoned author.”

Elisabeth M. Saada


“There’s only so many times you can read that before dying at the crappiness of it all.”



“Honeymoon is one of the laziest, loosely edited bits of slop I have ever come across. The plot is about as formulaic as can be, and is as digestible as the poison used within these pages.”



“The girl with the GIGANTIC SECRET tells him that an evil man named Darken Rahl wants to take over everything and kill everybody (Because he’s evil, that’s why.) In addition to having a confusing part of speech for a name, Darken is a horrible baddy who likes to cut people up and play in their gore. What? That’s not obviously evil enough for you? His best friend is a pedophile. There you go. Simplicity.”

Alex Falcone


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