The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax by Dorothy Gilman

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Title: The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax by Dorothy Gilman

Notable: Book #1 in the Mrs. Pollifax series

Premise:

Mrs. Pollifax is an older widowed woman whose children have left home.  She is feeling unfulfilled in her daily pursuits, so her doctor recommends that she try something out which she’s always wanted to do.  When she was younger, Mrs. Pollifax dreamt of being a spy.  You can see where this is leading, no?

My thoughts:

I was not expecting much of this book–just look at that cover!  When was the last time you saw a book cover quite so absurd?  This book surprised me so much with how well it was written, the charming heroine, and the crazy story line.

Through a happy accident Mrs. Pollifax is chosen for a simple mission, but she ends up getting dragged into a complex and dangerous web of intrigue.  Though she’s naive in the ways of secret agents, Mrs. Pollifax is experienced in life and human nature, and she has to employ all of her wiles and knowledge to make it through a truly harrowing ordeal.

I recommend The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax to those who enjoy an unconventional adventure story with a unique protagonist.  This was a completely unique and refreshing read!


Possible Objections:

  • Some of violence
  • A bit of adult language

Rating: 5 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

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The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

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Title: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

Premise:

What will happen when the Christmas pageant is infiltrated by the Herdmans, the town’s most unruly and notorious kids?  Hilarity and the most unique retelling of the Nativity story you’ve ever witnessed!  Their unique take on the story ends up producing the best Christmas pageant the town has ever seen.

My thoughts:

My son and I just finished reading this book together for school and it was an absolute hoot!  We laughed so much at all of the Herdmans’ antics–Imogene as a hoop earring-wearing, cigar-smoking Mary, and Gladys as an Angel of the Lord who yells at the shepherds and stomps on their feet.  Though these kids may be lacking in the finer points of politeness, they latch right onto the Christmas story and internalize its true meaning.

If you’re really particular about not letting your kids read books with children who misbehave, this may not be the book for you.  The Herdmans smoke cigars, hit people, burn down a shed, steal and generally act “naughty.”  Their behavior isn’t glorified, though, so I’m not afraid of my kids following their example.

Throughout the book there’s a smattering of drawings which help bring extra life and humor to the story.  The picture of Imogene smoking in the ladies room while she’s dressed up as Mary is just priceless.

I recommend The Best Christmas Pageant Ever to children and families to enjoy together during Christmas.  It’s our family’s favorite Christmas read aloud!

Rating: 5 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot

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Title: Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot

Premise:

Learn about different kinds of cats and their occupations in verse form!  This is a collection of feline-themed poems which tell readers about the exploits and foibles of Jellicle cats.  One is a magician, one a criminal mastermind, and more.  Whatever their occupation, you’re sure to find a favorite!

My thoughts:

If you are a cat-lover, then you need to read this slim book of poems!  It’s so much fun and really celebrates the quirkiness and idiosyncrasies of our feline friends.  The length is quite short as well, so you shouldn’t have any trouble polishing it off in a day.

I have difficulty choosing a favorite poem because they’re all so good, but I’d have to say that Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer is my all-time fav.  (Actually we named one of our cats Rumpelteazer.)  Rum Tum Tugger comes in a close second.  Hubby says he prefers Skimbleshanks.  My son loves Mr. Mistoffelees.  When he was younger he watched Cats all the time and when it got to the end of that song, he’d take a flying leap off the couch.  He was also scared of Macavity, but don’t tell him I told you so.

The musical Cats (which I absolutely love) is based on this book.  If you’re familiar with the songs from Cats, it will be very difficult to read the book without starting to sing the words.  I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.  Even if you do try to sing through the book, you’ll get muddled up because it’s not copied verbatim.

Throughout the book there are playful and whimsical drawings by Edward Gorey.  They’re somewhat simple, but very well done and really show the character of the various cats.

If it weren’t for the racial comments against the Chinese, this book would have gotten a 5-star rating.  It’s too bad that stuff has to be in there.

I recommend Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats to anybody who loves cats.  Because of the few racial comments, I don’t recommend it for young children, but it could work as a family read-aloud (with the offensive bits left out, of course).


Possible Objections:

  • A racial epithet against the Chinese & a couple of verses that talk about the “Heathen Chinese”

Rating: 4 1/2 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

 

WHICH CAT IS YOUR FAVORITE?

Books We Own: Terry Pratchett

My husband introduced me to the wonderful realm of Discworld some years ago.  I had never heard of Terry Pratchett and at first his books struck me as somewhat odd.  What exactly were these books?  They were definitely fantasy, but unlike any fantasy I had ever read.  I soon discovered that this was a magical and wondrous world, and I wanted to discover all of its delightful secrets.  If you are a fan of English humor and fantasy books, you will love the Discworld novels.  They are simply brilliant!

We are in the process of trying to build a complete set of Pratchett’s books, but they are not as easy to come by here in the States.  Also, I like to add to my book collection by finding the odd book at a thrift sale or Goodwill.  It’s like finding hidden treasure.  The few times I have found one of Pratchett’s books at Goodwill, I’ve wanted to start running through the aisles, waving the book around for everyone to see and shouting out my exultation.  Sweet, sweet victory!  I refrain, though.  Who wants to get carted off by the police because you got overly excited about a book, y’know?

**You can see a slideshow of the books at the end of this post.

♥ = we own the book

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Discworld Novels in Order:

  1. The Color of Magic
  2. The Light Fantastic
  3. Equal Rites
  4. Mort
  5. Sourcery
  6. Wyrd Sisters
  7. Pyramids
  8. Guards! Guards!
  9. Eric
  10. Moving Pictures
  11. Reaper Man
  12. Witches Abroad
  13. Small Gods
  14. Lords and Ladies
  15. Men at Arms
  16. Soul Music
  17. Interesting Times
  18. Maskerade
  19. Feet of Clay
  20. Hogfather
  21. Jingo
  22. The Last Continent
  23. Carpe Jugulum
  24. The Fifth Elephant
  25. The Truth
  26. Thief of Time
  27. The Last Hero: A Discworld Fable
  28. The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
  29. Night Watch
  30. The Wee Free Men
  31. Monstrous Regiment
  32. A Hat Full of Sky
  33. Going Postal
  34. Thud!
  35. Wintersmith
  36. Making Money
  37. Unseen Academicals
  38. I Shall Wear Midnight
  39. Snuff
  40. Raising Steam
  41. The Shepherd’s Crown

For Younger Readers:

  1. Dodger
  2. Dodger’s Guide to London
  3. Dragons at Crumbling Castle
  4. Johnny and the Bomb
  5. Johnny and the Dead
  6. Nation
  7. Only You Can Save Mankind
  8. The Abominable Snowman
  9. The Bromeliad Trilogy (Truckers, Diggers, Wings)
  10. The Carpet People
  11. The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner
  12. Where’s My Cow?

Other Titles:

  1. A Blink of the Screen
  2. A Slip of the Keyboard
  3. A Tourist Guide to Lancre: A Discworld Mapp (also by Stephen Briggs)
  4. Death’s Domain: A Discworld Mapp
  5. Good Omens (also by Neil Gaiman) ♥
  6. Guards! Guards!: The Play (also by Stephen Briggs)
  7. Maskerade: The Play (also by Stephen Briggs)
  8. Mort: The Play (also by Stephen Briggs)
  9. Mrs. Bradshaw’s Handbook: To Travelling Upon the Ankh-Morpork & Sto Plains Hygienic Railway
  10. Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook
  11. Seriously Funny: The Endlessly Quotable Terry Pratchett
  12. Shaking Hands with Death
  13. Small Gods: A Discworld Graphic Novel (also by Ray Friesen)
  14. Strata
  15. The Art of Discworld (also by Paul Kidby) ♥
  16. The Compleat Ankh-Morpork: City Guide
  17. The Compleat Discworld Atlas
  18. The Dark Side of the Sun
  19. The Discworld Mapp (also by Stephen Briggs) ♥
  20. The Folklore of Discworld (also by Jacqueline Simpson)
  21. The Long Earth
  22. The Long War
  23. The Long Mars
  24. The Long Utopia
  25. The Long Cosmos
  26. The New Discworld Companion (also by Stephen Briggs) ♥
  27. The Pratchett Portfolio
  28. The Science of Discworld (also by Ian Stewart & Jack Cohen)
  29. The Science of Discworld II: The Globe (also by Ian Stewart & Jack Cohen)
  30. The Science of Discworld III: Darwin’s Watch (also by Ian Stewart & Jack Cohen)
  31. The Science of Discworld IV: Judgment Day (also by Ian Stewart & Jack Cohen)
  32. The Streets of Ankh-Morpork Mapp (also by Stephen Briggs) ♥
  33. The Unadulterated Cat
  34. The Unseen University Cut-Out Book (also by Alan Batley & Bernard Pearson)
  35. The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld
  36. The World of Poo
  37. Turtle Recall: The Discworld Companion. . .So Far (also by Stephen Briggs)
  38. Wyrd Sisters: The Play (also by Stepehn Briggs)

Discworld Books by Other Authors:

  1. The Authorized Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Magazine from SFX ♥

 

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I just noticed that my camera seems to have a scratch on the lens.  That’s awesome.  😦

Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale of Mystery by Deborah & James Howe

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Title: Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale of Mystery by Deborah & James Howe

Premise:

The Munroe family finds an adorable baby bunny at the movie theater.  Harold, the family dog, and Chester, the cat, aren’t particularly concerned about the newest member of the family until funny things start happening to the food at night.  Could the cute and seemingly innocent bunny be the culprit?  Chester is determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but how far will he go in his quest for the truth?

My thoughts:

I read Bunnicula as a child, but had never gone back to it since that time.  I forgot what a little gem of a book this is!

The book is written from the perspective of the dog, which makes for some very funny reading.  Things are explained from a dog’s point of view, and with a dog’s understanding and priorities.  Seeing things from his perspective gives the story a unique twist and makes it really fun to read.

Even though the book is quite short, there is a lot of humor and personality packed into the pages.  Chester is a thoroughly neurotic cat and he goes a bit bonkers in his quest to find out what Bunnicula gets up to at night.  Harold is a happy-go-lucky dog who is willing to give their new bunny a chance, but he’s also forced to rein in Chester just a tad bit.  The Munroe family seems to be good-naturedly dimwitted, and eventually the situation is resolved in such a way that they are none the wiser about the eating habits of their little bunny.

I think that the characters of Chester and Harold really make this book.  It’s almost like they’re the cat-dog version of the famous Laurel and Hardy comedy duo.  Chester is serious and uptight, whereas Harold is the bumbling, kindly oaf.  They play off of each other sooo well!  The scene where they are both trying to sit in the same chair is hilarious!

I recommend Bunnicula to children who are beginning to read chapter books, up through preteens.  It also makes a fun, quick family read-aloud.  This would be a great book to read around Halloween, too!

A favorite quote:

“Chester turned to me and said under his breath, ‘That lettuce looks repulsive, but if there’s any milk left, I get it.’  I certainly wasn’t going to argue with him.  I’m a water man myself.”  (p. 10)

Rating: 5 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

Shrunken Treasures: Literary Classics, Short, Sweet, and Silly by Scott Nash

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Title: Shrunken Treasures: Literary Classics, Short, Sweet, and Silly by Scott Nash

Premise:

The author has taken classic works of literature and condensed the essential story into short verse form.  Each story is fun, playful, and rhyming.  They are also complemented by cute, juvenile illustrations.  The works included are: The Odyssey, Frankenstein, Moby-Dick, Jane Eyre, A Thousand and One Nights, Hamlet, Don Quixote, The Metamorphosis, and Remembrance of Things Past.

My thoughts:

I stumbled on this book when I was doing a search of the library’s system for Jane Eyre graphic novels.  It’s such a neat concept for a book that I just had to share it with you!

I love that the author decided to share the gist of these classic stories in a way that is accessible and appealing to young children.  The rhyming verse and charmingly playful illustrations combine to create a book which children would love reading with their parents.

I should note that the author made a few changes to stories which needed a bit more innocence than their original story contained.  For instance, Frankenstein has a different ending because, obviously, you don’t want the Dr. and his monster killing one another.  Hamlet also experienced significant changes, but I think it was done in a very clever way.

I recommend Shrunken Treasures to parents who want to introduce their children to the classic stories in a way that is fun and easy, while keeping the story at a child’s level.  It would also appeal to adult fans of classic literature who like to see interesting adaptations of their favorite works.

Rating: 4 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

Confessions of Shopaholic – Movie 2009

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Last night I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic, the movie adaptation of the book by the same name.  I hadn’t even known that they had made it into a movie, until quite recently.

As a very quick synopsis, the story is about a young lady named Rebecca Bloomwood who absolutely loves to shop and would like nothing better than to write for the well-known fashion magazine, Alette.  She tries to climb the corporate ladder by starting at a magazine entitled Successful Saving, but runs into many hurdles brought on by her own reckless spending habits.  If you want to know more about what I thought of the book, check out my book review.

My thoughts:

I really enjoyed the book, but it’s been almost a year since I’ve read it, so many of the details have slipped away.  That’s probably a good thing when watching the film adaptation of the book, because I didn’t get caught up in comparing every little thing to the book.  I had a general gist of what was going to happen, but the story was just there for my enjoyment.

Even though it’s been a year since I read the book, I could tell that they had taken some liberties with the original story.  However, I don’t think that the changes adversely affected the story, so much as created their own alternative story.  There is still the love interest, Becky’s awful spending habits, the extremely awkward situations, and a day when she must reckon with the mess that she has made.  However, most of the heavy and serious stuff is taken out of the story.  Maybe that’s why they changed some major plot elements–so it would be more of a fluff story.

I think that I liked the movie version of Becky better than the book version.  It probably has to do with the fact that Isla Fisher is completely likeable and charm seems to ooze from her pores.  I’m not sure how I feel about the changes made to Becky and Luke’s relationship in the movie.  I suppose they wanted to simplify and condense it, instead of making it develop over a period of time, as it did in the book.

I have to say something about the animated mannequins here.  At first they kind of creeped me out, but as the film progressed they started to make sense.  Since shopping is such an integral part of who Becky is and since it is a magical experience for her, I think that the “living” mannequins were a good choice.

The film is fairly tame.  There’s one instance of the b-word, at least one instance of the a-word, lots of leg and cleavage exposure, and a drinking session with her friend while they go through credit card bills.

I recommend this movie to teens and women who want to watch a feel-good romantic comedy.  While it’s not the best I’ve ever seen, it is one that I wouldn’t hesitate to watch with friends.  If you’re hoping for it to accurately reflect the book, you will be disappointed.  Look at it as a cousin of the book.

Possible Objections:

  • a handful of bad language
  • some ladies show lots of skin
  • a drinking scene
  • a cat fight

Rated: PG

Rating: 3 1/2 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

OTHER CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC POSTS:

A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson

Walk in the Woods

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Title: A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson

Premise:

This is a humorous memoir about Bill’s quest to hike the Appalachian Trail, a good portion of it with his friend Katz.  Additionally, Bill shares his observations and opinions on topics which are pertinent to the story, such as, the National Parks Service, invasive species, conservation, mining, etc.

My thoughts:

It would not be an understatement to say that I LOVED this book!  It wasn’t a page-turner that I just couldn’t put down, but more like an old friend that I would return to for shared jokes and just to appreciate being together.  I wanted to savor my time with this book.  Bill’s wry humor really suits me and I appreciate the way he uses it to draw attention to and poke at issues he cares about.  Sometimes it’s more effective to criticize something through sardonic humor than by railing against it in an angry tirade.

When I picked up the book, I didn’t really think it would be all that exciting.  How can you make an exceptionally long walk entertaining?  Well, Bill figured it out and delivered beautifully.  His comedic timing is like strawberries and whipped cream: perfect.  Let me state again that I am in love with his writing style and I look forward to reading more of his works.  How can I have gone so long without reading any of his books?

The last thing I wanted to comment on was how Bill brought little nuggets of history into his story.  I love history when it’s presented in an engaging manner, and Bill incorporated it seamlessly.  I was particularly intrigued by the opulent hotels which once existed in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, and the sad history of the town of Centralia in Pennsylvania.  I had previously studied Centralia when I was on a kick about ghost towns, and it is a haunting setting to be sure.  If you’ve never heard of it, do a bit of research.  It’s fascinating.

I recommend A Walk in the Woods to adults and mature teenagers who enjoy a humorous adventure story.  If you like wry humor, you’ll especially appreciate Bryson’s writing.

A couple of favorite quotes:

“’Daniel Boone, who not only wrestled bears but tried to date their sisters, described corners of the southern Appalachians as so wild and horrid that it is impossible to behold them without terror.’  When Daniel Boone is uneasy, you know it’s time to watch your step.”  (p. 63-64)

“The forest we walked through now was really just a strapping adolescent.  In 1890, a railroad man from Cincinnati named Henry C. Bagley came to this part of Georgia, saw the stately white pines and poplars, and was so moved by their towering majesty and abundance that he decided to chop them all down.  They were worth a lot of money.”  (p. 68)

Possible Objections:

  • a decent amount of swearing

Rating: 5 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

When You Find Out the World is Against You Book Giveaway — OPEN

When the World is Against You.jpg

My Bookshelf Giveaway: When You Find Out the World is Against You: and Other Funny Memories About Awful Moments by Kelly Oxford

Read my review here

Enter by following the link below.  It’s open internationally to participants 18 years and older and will end on June 30, 2017.  The winner will be announced on my blog and contacted through email.  Good luck!

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When You Find Out the World is Against You Book Giveaway — CLOSED

My Bookshelf Giveaway: When You Find Out the World is Against You: and Other Funny Memories About Awful Moments by Kelly Oxford

Read my review here

Enter by following the link below.  It’s open internationally to participants 18 years and older and will end on June 30, 2017.  The winner will be announced on my blog and contacted through email.  Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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When You Find Out the World Is Against You: And Other Funny Memories About Awful Moments by Kelly Oxford

The World is Against You

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A special thank-you to Dey Street Books and Goodreads for providing an ARC for me to review!

Title: When You Find Out the World Is Against You: And Other Funny Memories About Awful Moments by Kelly Oxford

Premise:

This book is a memoir detailing a variety of especially awkward and/or funny episodes from Kelly’s life.  The stories run the gamut from childhood social gaffes to raising her own children, divorce to sexual assault.  Whatever the circumstances, Kelly’s keen observations, wit and humor shine through to help give perspective to each story.

My thoughts:

There were parts of the book which were very entertaining and I found myself getting quite wrapped up in them (like when Kelly went to camp!).  There were a couple of chapters, however, which kind of fell flat for me.  For some reason they didn’t pull me in and didn’t seem to add a lot of value to the book.

With that being said though, overall I enjoyed the book very much.  I read through it fairly quickly and it was easy to digest each chapter as a separate anecdote.  Some of Kelly’s antics are so socially awkward that it’s difficult to read about them.  The story about her husband and the guy he meets in the gym comes immediately to mind.  Yikes!!!  I’m too embarrassed to even tell you what it’s about online–you’ll have to read it for yourself.

Probably the chapter I appreciated most was the last one about Kelly’s reaction to the Trump and Billy Bush recording when they were talking about sexually assaulting women.  I had to psych myself up to the read the chapter after I skimmed it and saw all of the tweets by other women who had experienced sexual assault.  It was right before bed and I put the book down, deciding that I had better wait to read that chapter until the morning when I’d have the whole day to process it and work through the unhappy feelings before trying to go to sleep.  The way that Kelly helped so many women to feel connected and heard was amazing!  Quite frankly, I think it was necessary at the time, especially since the behavior and language of those men was being justified by so many.  For all of the women who’ve been on the receiving end inappropriate behavior or language, it’s like a slap in the face seeing it brushed off as “locker room talk”.  So on behalf of all of the women who were feeling marginalized by that recording and the ensuing justification of it, thank you Kelly for putting yourself out there to start the conversation on healthy attitudes towards women.

I recommend When You Find Out the World Is Against You to adults who like funny and/or awkward memoirs.  Kelly is an entertaining lady and you just might enjoy exploring some of her more memorable socially awkward moments.

A Favorite quote:

“The loudest drunks are groups of sober teenage girls.  They think all their jokes are hilarious.  All their drama is the biggest deal in the whole wide world.”  (p. 259-260)

Possible Objections:

  • lots of swear words (not used offensively, but sprinkled generously as potpourri)
  • explicit talk about sexual stuff (particularly in reference to sexual assault)
  • a bit of drug use

Rating: 4 Stars

Until next time…

Lori

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Favorite Book Criticisms #2

More of my favorite book criticisms!  Enjoy!

“I can’t imagine anyone wanting to read anymore about Artemis Fowl. He is a nasty, nasty little boy. The only way I’d ever like to read more about him is if the adventures involve him being given a good smack or two.”

Angie Manfredi

“The plot is full of holes if you’re the kind to bother about that sort of thing. It’s not likely you’ll have the energy to care about the holes, however, as you simply try to overcome plot elements such as a character using projectile flatulence as a weapon. (And I wish I were making that up.)”

DonAthos

“All in all, what a disappointment. I did not pick up this book hoping to hate it.”

DonAthos

“I can only assume that he needed some extra income to pay his sanitarium bill.”

Andreas Udby

“I read this book, only out of respect to my aunt’s money.”

Raphael

“I got this for my grandkids but after reading it, I actually tore it up and threw it into the recycle. It’s that bad.”

Chrissy the Hyphenated

“Guys, i’m warning you, don’t read the book! Books are suppose to catch your attention, well this book did the opposite, I nearly fell asleep!”

Romance Lover566

“Oh and while we’re at it let’s have a protagonist who has the depth of a slice of cardboard.”

Colin Grimmett

“Unfunny at best, dull as dishwater at worst, this Artemis is truly more foul than fowl!”

A. D. Landau

“What the heck was he thinking when he wrote this booK? “let’s try and destroy 5 thousand years of mythology and fantasy, lets make dull characters and obsolet people out of fearies”…its horrible, dont buy it, i dont care about role models, i care about the destruction of fantasy……ban this book from everywhere…”

Maximiliano Schneidewind

“I can’t recall the last time I read a book where I wished the entire cast would get themselves killed somehow, to put them out of my misery. Misery, yes, that’s a good word. All of the characters were utterly miserable in their own noxious ways.”

Liz

“All I can say is this book winning so many awards compares to those tailors who made the emperor’s new clothes being praised for their fashion sense and style.”

Susan K. Schoonover

“Please don’t buy this book . It is a waste of your life.”

MMC

5 Literary Gift Ideas – #2

Here’s my second installment of hand-picked literary gift ideas!  The last item, the arm warmers, are something that I use when reading in the winter months. For a person with poor circulation, these are a godsend when reading!

This post contains affiliate links.

I Have Too Many Books T-Shirt

Magnetic Bookmarks – Crazy Cats

Stickmen Bookends

Rainbow Bookshelves Mug, 11 oz.

Knitted Long Arm Warmers

5 Literary Gift Ideas – #1

I’m starting a new series of posts, probably monthly, to showcase some really fun gift ideas for people who love books and reading.  (Like myself!)  I hope that these posts will be helpful for those of you who have a tough time finding thoughtful gifts for your book-loving friends and family.  Enjoy!

This post contains affiliate links.

Just Clip it! Quote Bookmarks – I LIKE BIG Books, BIbliophile, GO AWAY, I’m reading

Agate Geode Halves Bookends

Purple Women’s Hard Eyeglasses Case & Bonus Cleaning Cloth

A Room Without Books 18 X 18 Cotton Pillowcase Cover

I LIKE TO PARTY – Two Tone Black Mug, 11oz.

Favorite Book Criticisms #1

When I finish reading a book and writing a review for it, I like to look at other online reviews for that particular title.  It’s fun to see how my thoughts compare with the rest of the general populace.

Sometimes when I read other peoples reviews, I’m struck by a particularly insightful or downright funny observation.  Some of them are so good that I thought it would be fun to start a new series which shares my favorite book criticisms from other reviewers.

Most quotes will be short, and I won’t necessarily say which book they are commenting on.  The point is to simply enjoy the wit and observations of others.  I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!

 

“Like many epic fantasies, this book is mostly about people taking long walks.”

Alex Falcone

 

“You’re better off burning your money than buying this book.”

K. Brooks

 

“In conclusion, if readers went before a judge, the judge would grant a divorce and Patterson would be forced to pay retribution to every reader who suffered through this wreck of a book.”

Cookiecrook

 

“Suddenly out of the blue, the guy who has been treating her like a piece of meat loves her. Really? Dangerous message. Men who mistreat you do not love you.”

Reader

 

“WHY WOULD SOMEBODY MAKE THESE BOXES? What wizards (or box makers) thought it would be fun to create three magical jewelry boxes that might accidentally blow up the whole world?

I can’t stress enough how bad an idea this is. Whoever did this is the stupidest.”

Alex Falcone

 

“Publishers would do well not to rush with books that are not yet ready for publication. The fact an author is well known is no excuse for not demanding quality. As a matter of fact, one should expect more from a seasoned author.”

Elisabeth M. Saada

 

“There’s only so many times you can read that before dying at the crappiness of it all.”

Mary

 

“Honeymoon is one of the laziest, loosely edited bits of slop I have ever come across. The plot is about as formulaic as can be, and is as digestible as the poison used within these pages.”

clifford

 

“The girl with the GIGANTIC SECRET tells him that an evil man named Darken Rahl wants to take over everything and kill everybody (Because he’s evil, that’s why.) In addition to having a confusing part of speech for a name, Darken is a horrible baddy who likes to cut people up and play in their gore. What? That’s not obviously evil enough for you? His best friend is a pedophile. There you go. Simplicity.”

Alex Falcone